Five Marriage Lessons From the First 3 Months


Five Marriage Lessons From the First 3 Months, Sincerely Miss J, Love distillery district

Marriage is a wonderful gift.  It is not without its challenges though. We were informed while going through pre-marital counseling that the first 3 months are usually the most challenging. These first few months are spent mostly learning more about each other than you ever imagine. Good and bad habits, routines, and certain ways that one operates in their day to day life. It is the incredibly messy state that happens when two people are in the process of colliding to become one.

I wanted to share FIVE things that I’ve learned during that first three months of marriage:

  1. We must love each other.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is essential and needed for both parties in the marriage. If love isn’t present, then what is the point of being married?  Marriage is nothing unless it’s based on love. When you love someone, you should show it. Every single day. This is especially true when you’re married and living in the same home. Never stop showing that significant other that you love them. Everyone needs reassurance;some more than others.

I’ve learned in the early stages of marriage that love is something you do, and is demonstrated by the actions you decide to take. You choose every day whether you want to love someone, how you want to love them and how much you want to love them. Love doesn’t feel patient or feel kind or feel truth, it just is. It doesn’t feel like bearing all things or feel like hoping and enduring, it does those things. This goes against everything we’ve been taught about love.  Marriage shines a bright light on all of these ‘love’ actions.  Every day as a husband or wife you decide if and how you want to demonstrate your love.

2. We must respect each other.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 

Ephesians 5:33

Certain things are non-negotiable and must be present at all times if anything productive is to happen.  Imagine a new store that you’ve been anticipating for months is
opening.  When you get there on that grand opening day you find that they didn’t install the light fixtures and although all the merchandise is there, the store is pitch black.  How would you go in to shop?  That’s what respect is like in a marriage or any relationship for that matter. Marriage only requires you to keep the lights on longer.  Think of respect as the light that illuminates the marriage full of love.  Without it, even if you had lots of love, your husband or wife wouldn’t see it. Respect must happen no matter the circumstances. Everyone is different and everyone has certain standards that they’d like to obtain. Just because you do something one way, doesn’t mean that everyone else should do it the same way. It is important in a marriage to respect your spouse and what is important to them.

Five Marriage Lessons From the First 3 Months, Sincerely Miss J, Love distillery district

3. We must count the little things.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much…” 

Luke 16:10a 

This is my own tailored understanding of this verse.  If you are faithful with showing love and care through the little things, you will find it easy to be faithful in showing love and care through bigger things. If your significant other sends you a card, brings you something to drink, asks you how you’re feeling, grabs your hand while you’re driving, etc, recognize and appreciate it.  Find ways to reciprocate in these little acts. Don’t wait for the big events to show them you love and care for them. 

4. We must communicate and compromise.

“Two are better than one.” 

Ecclesiastes 4:9

Change is necessary for growth.  There will always be things you may have to adjust for your partner and vice versa, but you must be willing to make those changes. In fact both parties must be willing to make some changes. Telling someone who you love that you don’t agree with them isn’t always easy, but it has to be done in order for change to happen. This is why communication is so important. Make sure communication is clear and that the conversation isn’t over until it ends in agreement, understanding or compromise. When you make decisions together, they will be more powerful and beneficial than when a decision is made alone.

In the first few months of marriage, we’ve both assumed many things that turned out to be just plain wrong but that is necessary for understanding each other better.
I think we’re both better after resolving some of our differences as we gain different perspectives and see new sides to things we otherwise would have thought were black and white.

5. We must use the Bible as a daily guide.

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” 

Joshua 1:8

Whoever it was who wrote the bible is really, really smart! Okay, I realize that many people wrote the bible over many hundreds of years but that’s not the point.
It literally has the answer to every single question or problem you may have.  Seriously, look it up.

Having the same values makes things so much easier in a marriage. My husband and I value our beliefs and turn to the Bible often.  Having that in common helps us to use the Bible as our reference for things that come our way. We can both hold onto the same truth when times get tough and it unites us to get on the same team, playing under the same rules.  It helps us make our big decisions and it helps us stick to our small decisions.  Overall, it promises us good success and who doesn’t want a successful marriage?

The first three months of marriage for my husband and I have been wonderful and a great challenge at the same time.  There’s nothing I have experienced previously that I can compare to the last few months.  There’s really not much you can do to prepare for it other than being aware that it will be really exciting but you will also have some challenges and difficult times learning to be one with each other.  Marriage is quite a journey as I’m starting to now understand.  You hear all that stuff when people are telling you before you get married but I didn’t have a clue what it meant until now.  All of the things above have contributed to making it a very enjoyable experience and I’m looking forward to the rest of it.  The journey continues !

Hope you enjoyed the post

Until Next Time

Sincerely Miss J

What do you look forward to in marriage?

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    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 1:31 am

      Thank you! 🙂

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 1:31 am

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  1. Merel van Poorten March 6, 2017 / 12:18 pm

    Amazing post, loved reading it babe! <3X

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 1:31 am

      Thank you! <3

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 1:31 am

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  2. Kerona Ledgister March 6, 2017 / 11:07 pm

    i loved this post, i'm not married but i learnt quite alot from thisamazing!! keep up the great

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 1:31 am

      Thank you! <3

  3. Style & Life by Susana March 7, 2017 / 2:53 am

    This is just a beautiful post lovely lady! I loved how you incorporated some bibles verses, it just gave it that extra edge and deeper meaning to your post

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 11:31 am

      Thank you! There is no guide like the Bible! 🙂

  4. Violette Daily March 7, 2017 / 10:31 am

    Great post! I think these tips can be used for any relationship, thanks for sharing!

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 11:31 am

      You're absolutely right! :)Thank you.

  5. Emma Loves Fashion March 7, 2017 / 11:15 am

    Good post!

    • SincerelyMissJ March 7, 2017 / 11:31 am

      Thank you, Emma! 🙂

  6. Mariya Marinova March 7, 2017 / 12:49 pm

    This post is so good, great tips! I've been married for almost 9 years now and I can tell communication is really important, also praying together x

    • SincerelyMissJ March 8, 2017 / 11:53 am

      That's right! Prayer is definitely important. <3

  7. Madeline Wilson-Ojo March 7, 2017 / 1:51 pm

    Congratulations are in order! I love this post – especially as it is all Biblically based. Well done girl! I have been married to my best friend for four months myself, and it is a wonderful journey. The challenges are a part of the experience, but I find that prayer is everything and the Bible has the answer to every question. And that is what has made it a great journey so far.All the best to you and your husband!

    • SincerelyMissJ March 8, 2017 / 11:54 am

      Thank you so much! The same for you and your husband! Congratulations and may God bless your journey together!

    • SincerelyMissJ March 8, 2017 / 11:54 am

      Thank you! 🙂

  8. Adrika March 7, 2017 / 3:52 pm

    great!NEW BLOG ! please follow me : YOUNG BLOG

    • SincerelyMissJ March 8, 2017 / 11:54 am

      Thank you, Adrika! 🙂

  9. Zales Coupons March 8, 2017 / 5:41 am

    These lessons will really help me in my marriage life. Good post! xoxo

    • SincerelyMissJ March 8, 2017 / 11:54 am

      Thank you! I'm glad that it can help! 🙂

  10. I AM YASMIN March 8, 2017 / 1:04 pm

    Great tips, it can be used for any relationship! Love, Trust, doing little things for someone else and faith are so important. Thanks for the insightful post.xo,I AM YASMIN

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Thank you! Yes, it can be. 🙂

  11. Straight A Style March 8, 2017 / 2:33 pm

    Definitely wise lessons! My husband and I have been married almost 8 years and these things all still hold true. Amy AnnStraight A Style

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Thank you! 🙂

  12. Kate at Green Fashionista March 8, 2017 / 7:54 pm

    Love love love all of this! Especially respecting one another <3Green Fashionista

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Yes! R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Lol! <3

  13. Tamara Farhat March 8, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    Beautiful lessons your learned in the first few months! Wishing you both a happy life together!XoXo, Tamara –

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:48 am

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  14. BLovedBoston March 9, 2017 / 1:52 am

    Absolutely agree with all of these – we are coming up on our 4 year anniversary and these all are still true! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:48 am

      That's awesome! Happy 4 years! 🙂

  15. Mercy F March 9, 2017 / 5:32 am

    This is such an inspiring post, the verses remind me what love and marriage are all about. Love this post dear, thank you!

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:48 am

      Thank you! 🙂

  16. Jelisaveta Đukanović March 9, 2017 / 11:39 am

    Amazing post! :))My YouTube channelMy blog

    • SincerelyMissJ March 9, 2017 / 11:48 am

      Thank you!! 🙂

  17. Mónica - Mes Voyages à Paris March 9, 2017 / 12:23 pm

    wow beautiful post and beautiful picture dear!xxMónica SorsMES VOYAGES À PARISNEW POST: PFW STREET STYLE BEST OUTFITS II

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:02 pm

      Thank you!! 🙂

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:02 pm

      Great post! And thank you for stopping by to check mine out. 🙂

  18. Adrika March 9, 2017 / 3:20 pm

    perfect!NEW BLOG ! please follow me : YOUNG BLOG

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:02 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  19. Gloryanna March 9, 2017 / 6:30 pm

    Compromise is huge! And really, everything you mentioned is accomplished (peacefully at least) by having the Bible be our guide for it all. It will be fun to read a post of what you learned after 3 years, 13 years, 30 years.. 🙂

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:03 pm

      Yes! I hope to do those posts as well. I'll probably laugh! Lol!Thank you. 🙂

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:03 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  20. Miriam Ramp March 10, 2017 / 7:16 am

    I must say that I agree with all your points. Wishing you and your hubby all the best in your life together. :-)Have a wonderful weekend, sweetie!XMiri

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:03 pm

      Thank you so much! May God Bless you!

  21. Fresh Face Beauty March 10, 2017 / 10:30 am

    Beautiful post :)

    • SincerelyMissJ March 10, 2017 / 2:04 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  22. Adhi Wahyudi March 10, 2017 / 2:29 pm

    Great tips dear! hope you have a long last marriage :)

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:39 pm

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  23. Tee March 10, 2017 / 7:13 pm

    Great post! Well laid out tips, love all 5 especially number 5. Thanks for sharing this 🙂

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  24. theonethattravels March 11, 2017 / 12:30 am

    Great post.xx

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you! 😀

  25. Adrika March 12, 2017 / 8:40 am

    AMAZING!NEW BLOG ! please follow me : YOUNG BLOG

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  26. Tiffany Legg March 12, 2017 / 10:02 am

    Respecting each other is super important. Lovely post x Tiffany Tales – Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you! 🙂 <3

  27. Hadasah Love (Style to Love) March 12, 2017 / 1:13 pm

    You look great my dear! Love itxx,

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:56 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  28. Camila A. March 13, 2017 / 3:03 am

    Congrats on the first 3 months, I hope you have an amazing and happy marriage!Camila,My Vogue Style |

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:56 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  29. Sharon Wu of Style Lullaby March 13, 2017 / 5:28 am

    awww this is seriously the cutest/sweetest! love is certainly a beautiful thing 🙂 xo, sharon

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:57 pm

      Thank you! 😀

  30. Gellie Abogado March 13, 2017 / 6:25 am

    Thank you for sharing these tips! I'm also newly married and even though it's still not that long yet, I've learned so much about how to handle our relationship. True enough there are some advice from family and friends I can keep but, ultimately, only we (the couple) can know the right step to take because we're the ones who can experience what it really feels like to be in the relationship. Wishing you the best in your marriage and stay awesome! :)xoxo,

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:57 pm

      Thank you, Gellie! 🙂

  31. Tia Teilli March 13, 2017 / 2:30 pm

    Great post! xx

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:57 pm

      Thank you! 😀

  32. Abby Darlington March 13, 2017 / 4:53 pm

    lovely post! I love your viewpoint on this subject. Adding to my bookmark bar for "in the future" 🙂

    • SincerelyMissJ March 13, 2017 / 8:58 pm

      That's awesome. Abby! Thank you! 😀

    • SincerelyMissJ March 15, 2017 / 12:08 am

      Thank you! 🙂

  33. Rabiu Saidat March 14, 2017 / 4:23 pm

    Nice and Lovely tips for a happy marriage

    • SincerelyMissJ March 15, 2017 / 12:08 am

      Yes! Thank you! 🙂

  34. Gold Coast Girl March 14, 2017 / 8:27 pm

    Such a great post and I couldn't agree more. What a great read.~Samantha

    • SincerelyMissJ March 15, 2017 / 12:08 am

      Thank you! 🙂

  35. Tabitha Budiman March 15, 2017 / 5:58 am

    I really love this post, dear! I've been married for 6 years and everything you wrote is true! Keep it up, God bless you :)

    • SincerelyMissJ March 15, 2017 / 10:53 am

      Thank you! 🙂 May God Bless you as well!

  36. Unknown March 15, 2017 / 9:19 pm

    These are fantastic tips, I am going on 10 years of marriage now and I loved reading this, made me appreciate the marriage so much more

    • SincerelyMissJ March 16, 2017 / 11:46 am

      Thank you! Happy ten years!! 🙂

  37. Danielle March 16, 2017 / 12:47 am

    This is truly wonderful! My hubby and I have been together for about 2 years now and loving every minute of it. We pray daily together. tHank you for all the wonderful reminders.

    • SincerelyMissJ March 16, 2017 / 11:47 am

      You're welcome! Thank you for taking the time to check them out! 🙂

  38. David Elliott March 16, 2017 / 6:55 am

    Love and respect are absolutely essential. You have to have it or everything else does not work. And communication is also an essential. Great post.

    • SincerelyMissJ March 16, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Yes! You're right! Thank you. 🙂

  39. Candace Kage March 22, 2017 / 11:53 am

    You got married because you loved each other. I would skip that one and instead put in start your day together with prayer and end your day together with prayer.

  40. Rachel March 22, 2017 / 1:20 pm

    Those newlywed days are so precious and they fly by! And you're right–the little things of everyday life and marriage are so precious and important!

  41. Justine @ March 22, 2017 / 4:07 pm

    This is so incredibly true. I love that you mentioned "choice" in your first point. Choosing to love each other – you can easily choose to do something else, but marriage is work. You need to "show up" and choose to love and care for each other every day. Well said!

  42. Apryl @ heart, hope, & hustle March 22, 2017 / 5:22 pm

    These are so true. I've been married for 6 years in May, and honestly, these never change. So awesome that you have recognized them so early on and are willing to share so others can learn as well. Here's to your next 6 years also! Fight through the hard things, it's always worth it!

  43. Bethie The Boo March 22, 2017 / 6:55 pm

    Those are wonderful lessons indeed, love, respect and communication are all key! Wonderful!

  44. Jess March 22, 2017 / 7:37 pm

    Love this! My husband and are have been married for about 2.5 years. I totally agree that love and respect are so important. I also think actually LIKING the person you're married to is important. My husband is someone I really like. I mean, I actually LIKE being around him.

  45. Rebecca Hicks March 22, 2017 / 9:55 pm

    I love these tips! They are SO true, and I especially love that you approached it from a Biblical perspective. I hope your next three months (and years and years to come) are just as fruitful and special!

  46. Christine Keys March 23, 2017 / 1:35 am

    We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. During those three years, we've moved three times, bought a house, and had two children. If it were not for the above points that you mentioned, I'm sure things wouldn't look as wonderful as they do now.

  47. The How-to Guru March 23, 2017 / 5:32 am

    BEAUTIFUL post, my sister in Christ! All 5 of these lessons learned by you are SO true! Well done.The How-to Guru

  48. Meghan March 23, 2017 / 6:39 am

    I absolutely love this! Counting the little things is very important. It helps to remind to not take advantage of each other.

  49. Stacey Eckert March 23, 2017 / 1:33 pm

    I love this advice, I just got married 1 month ago! This is very helpful =)

  50. Anne Markey March 23, 2017 / 6:23 pm

    These are great lessons! I hope you can hang on to these as you continue in your marriage.

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