Five Marriage Lessons From the First 3 Months

3/05/2017


Five Marriage Lessons From the First 3 Months, Sincerely Miss J, Love distillery district

Marriage is a wonderful gift.  It is not without its challenges though. We were informed while going through pre-marital counseling that the first 3 months are usually the most challenging. These first few months are spent mostly learning more about each other than you ever imagine. Good and bad habits, routines, and certain ways that one operates in their day to day life. It is the incredibly messy state that happens when two people are in the process of colliding to become one.  

I wanted to share FIVE things that I've learned during that first three months of marriage:

1. We must love eachother.

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is essential and needed for both parties in the marriage. If love isn't present, then what is the point of being married?  Marriage is nothing unless it's based on love.  When you love someone, you should show it. Every single day. This is especially true when you're married and living in the same home. Never stop showing that significant other that you love them. Everyone needs reassurance; some more than others.

I've learned in the early stages of marriage that love is something you do, and is demonstrated by the actions you decide to take. You choose every day whether you want to love someone, how you want to love them and how much you want to love them. Love doesn't feel patient or feel kind or feel truth, it just is. It doesn't feel like bearing all things or feel like hoping and enduring, it does those things.  This goes against everything we've been taught about love.  Marriage shines a bright light on all of these 'love' actions.  Every day as a husband or wife you decide if and how you want to demonstrate your love.

2. We must respect each other.

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." 
Ephesians 5:33

Certain things are non-negotiable and must be present at all times if anything productive is to happen.  Imagine a new store that you've been anticipating for months is opening.  When you get there on that grand opening day you find that they didn't install the light fixtures and although all the merchandise is there, the store is pitch black.  How would you go in to shop?  That's what respect is like in a marriage or any relationship for that matter.  Marriage only requires you to keep the lights on longer.  Think of respect as the light that illuminates the marriage full of love.  Without it, even if you had lots of love, your husband or wife wouldn't see it.  Respect must happen no matter the circumstances. Everyone is different and everyone has certain standards that they'd like to obtain. Just because you do something one way, doesn't mean that everyone else should do it the same way. It is important in a marriage to respect your spouse and what is important to them.

Five Marriage Lessons From the First 3 Months, Sincerely Miss J, Love distillery district  
3. We must count the little things.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..." 
Luke 16:10a 

This is my own tailored understanding of this verse.  If you are faithful with showing love and care through the little things, you will find it easy to be faithful in showing love and care through bigger things. If your significant other sends you a card, brings you something to drink, asks you how you're feeling, grabs your hand while you're driving, etc, recognize and appreciate it.  Find ways to reciprocate in these little acts. Don't wait for the big events to show them you love and care for them.  

4. We must communicate and compromise.

“Two are better than one.” 
Ecclesiastes 4:9

Change is necessary for growth.  There will always be things you may have to adjust for your partner and vice versa, but you must be willing to make those changes. In fact both parties must be willing to make some changes.  Telling someone who you love that you don't agree with them isn't always easy, but it has to be done in order for change to happen. This is why communication is so important. Make sure communication is clear and that the conversation isn't over until it ends in agreement, understanding or compromise. When you make decisions together, they will be more powerful and beneficial than when a decision is made alone.
In the first few months of marriage, we've both assumed many things that turned out to be just plain wrong but that is necessary for understanding each other better.  I think we're both better after resolving some of our differences as we gain different perspectives and see new sides to things we otherwise would have thought were black and white.

5. We must use the Bible as a daily guide. 

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." 
Joshua 1:8

Whoever it was who wrote the bible is really, really smart! Ok, I realize that many people wrote the bible over many hundreds of years but that's not the point.  It literally has the answer to every single question or problem you may have.  Seriously, look it up.

Having the same values makes things so much easier in a marriage. My husband and I value our beliefs and turn to the Bible often.  Having that in common helps us to use the Bible as our reference for things that come our way. We can both hold onto the same truth when times get tough and it unites us to get on the same team, playing under the same rules.  It helps us make our big decisions and it helps us stick to our small decisions.  Overall, it promises us good success and who doesn't want a successful marriage?

The first three months of marriage for my husband and I have been wonderful and a great challenge at the same time.  There's nothing I have experienced previously that I can compare to the last few months.  There's really not much you can do to prepare for it other than being aware that it will be really exciting but you will also have some challenges and difficult times learning to be one with each other.  Marriage is quite a journey as I'm starting to now understand.  You hear all that stuff when people are telling you before you get married but I didn't have a clue what it meant until now.  All of the things above have contributed to making it a very enjoyable experience and I'm looking forward to the rest of it.  The journey continues !

Hope you enjoyed the post 
Until Next Time 
Sincerely Miss J 

What do you look forward to in marriage?
What are some of the lessons you've learned from being married? 

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102 comments:

  1. Lovely post

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  2. This is a wonderful post, I wish you all the best to you two!

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  3. Amazing post, loved reading it babe! <3

    X Merel
    www.andathousandwords.com

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  4. This was a lovely post and very insightful :) http://www.bauchlefashion.com/2017/03/how-bazaar-street-style-accessories.html

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  5. i loved this post, i'm not married but i learnt quite alot from this
    amazing!! keep up the great work
    www.mssparkleandglow.com

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  6. This is just a beautiful post lovely lady! I loved how you incorporated some bibles verses, it just gave it that extra edge and deeper meaning to your post x

    www.susanalopessnarey.com/the-red-dress/

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    1. Thank you! There is no guide like the Bible! :)

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  7. Great post! I think these tips can be used for any relationship, thanks for sharing!

    http://violettedaily.com

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  8. Good post!
    Emma
    www.emmalovesfashion.com

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  9. This post is so good, great tips! I've been married for almost 9 years now and I can tell communication is really important, also praying together x

    Hugs

    www.marypolka.com

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    Replies
    1. That's right! Prayer is definitely important. <3

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  10. Congratulations are in order! I love this post - especially as it is all Biblically based. Well done girl! I have been married to my best friend for four months myself, and it is a wonderful journey. The challenges are a part of the experience, but I find that prayer is everything and the Bible has the answer to every question. And that is what has made it a great journey so far.

    All the best to you and your husband!

    https://madelinewilsonojo.com/blog/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! The same for you and your husband! Congratulations and may God bless your journey together!

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  11. This is such a beautiful post dear, congratulations on your marriage - thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Faye .x

    Blog: http://www.fayeisabella.co.uk/2017/03/the-observer.html
    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/fayeisabella

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  12. great!
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  13. These lessons will really help me in my marriage life. Good post! xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm glad that it can help! :)

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  14. Great tips, it can be used for any relationship! Love, Trust, doing little things for someone else and faith are so important. Thanks for the insightful post.

    xo,
    I AM YASMIN

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  15. Definitely wise lessons! My husband and I have been married almost 8 years and these things all still hold true.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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  16. Love love love all of this! Especially respecting one another <3
    Green Fashionista

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  17. Beautiful lessons your learned in the first few months! Wishing you both a happy life together!

    XoXo,

    Tamara - LoveofMode.com

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  18. Absolutely agree with all of these - we are coming up on our 4 year anniversary and these all are still true! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  19. This is such an inspiring post, the verses remind me what love and marriage are all about. Love this post dear, thank you!

    www.busyandfab.com

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  20. wow beautiful post and beautiful picture dear!
    xx
    Mónica Sors
    MES VOYAGES À PARIS
    NEW POST: PFW STREET STYLE BEST OUTFITS II

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  21. Really beautiful reminder about the importance of love. I recently wrote something similar about loving your person after a 40+ hour work week. https://thefemininepilgrimage.com/2017/03/03/how-to-love-someone-during-a-40-hour-work-week/ Thank you for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. Great post! And thank you for stopping by to check mine out. :)

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  22. perfect!

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  23. Compromise is huge! And really, everything you mentioned is accomplished (peacefully at least) by having the Bible be our guide for it all. It will be fun to read a post of what you learned after 3 years, 13 years, 30 years.. :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes! I hope to do those posts as well. I'll probably laugh! Lol!

      Thank you. :)

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  24. This is so sweet and great advice!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

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  25. I must say that I agree with all your points. Wishing you and your hubby all the best in your life together. :-)
    Have a wonderful weekend, sweetie!
    X
    Miri

    http://currentlywearing.com

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  26. Beautiful post :)

    http://www.freshfacebeauty.in

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  27. Great tips dear! hope you have a long last marriage :)

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  28. Great post! Well laid out tips, love all 5 especially number 5. Thanks for sharing this :)

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  29. Great post.
    xx
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_zn7IqrAY1I44bRuN6dH-Q
    https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/

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  30. AMAZING!

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  31. You look great my dear! Love it
    xx, Hadasah
    www.styletolove.com

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  32. Congrats on the first 3 months, I hope you have an amazing and happy marriage!

    Camila,
    My Vogue Style | www.myvoguestyle.com

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  33. awww this is seriously the cutest/sweetest! love is certainly a beautiful thing :) xo, sharon

    http://www.stylelullaby.com/travel/spg-credit-card-american-express/

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  34. Thank you for sharing these tips! I'm also newly married and even though it's still not that long yet, I've learned so much about how to handle our relationship. True enough there are some advice from family and friends I can keep but, ultimately, only we (the couple) can know the right step to take because we're the ones who can experience what it really feels like to be in the relationship.

    Wishing you the best in your marriage and stay awesome! :)


    xoxo,
    Gelleesh.com

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  35. Great post! xx

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  36. lovely post! I love your viewpoint on this subject. Adding to my bookmark bar for "in the future" :)

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  37. These are amazing scriptures here! Love this post.

    http://www.kathrineeldridge.com

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  38. Nice and Lovely tips for a happy marriage

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  39. Such a great post and I couldn't agree more. What a great read.
    ~Samantha
    http://goldcoastgirlblog.com

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  40. I really love this post, dear! I've been married for 6 years and everything you wrote is true! Keep it up, God bless you :)

    http://www.heelsandbeyond.com/

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    1. Thank you! :) May God Bless you as well!

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  41. These are fantastic tips, I am going on 10 years of marriage now and I loved reading this, made me appreciate the marriage so much more

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  42. This is truly wonderful! My hubby and I have been together for about 2 years now and loving every minute of it. We pray daily together. tHank you for all the wonderful reminders.

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome! Thank you for taking the time to check them out! :)

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  43. Love and respect are absolutely essential. You have to have it or everything else does not work. And communication is also an essential. Great post.

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  44. You got married because you loved each other. I would skip that one and instead put in start your day together with prayer and end your day together with prayer.

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  45. Those newlywed days are so precious and they fly by! And you're right--the little things of everyday life and marriage are so precious and important!

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  46. This is so incredibly true. I love that you mentioned "choice" in your first point. Choosing to love each other - you can easily choose to do something else, but marriage is work. You need to "show up" and choose to love and care for each other every day. Well said!

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  47. These are so true. I've been married for 6 years in May, and honestly, these never change. So awesome that you have recognized them so early on and are willing to share so others can learn as well. Here's to your next 6 years also! Fight through the hard things, it's always worth it!

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  48. Those are wonderful lessons indeed, love, respect and communication are all key! Wonderful!

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  49. Love this! My husband and are have been married for about 2.5 years. I totally agree that love and respect are so important. I also think actually LIKING the person you're married to is important. My husband is someone I really like. I mean, I actually LIKE being around him.

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  50. I love these tips! They are SO true, and I especially love that you approached it from a Biblical perspective. I hope your next three months (and years and years to come) are just as fruitful and special!

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  51. We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. During those three years, we've moved three times, bought a house, and had two children. If it were not for the above points that you mentioned, I'm sure things wouldn't look as wonderful as they do now.

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  52. BEAUTIFUL post, my sister in Christ! All 5 of these lessons learned by you are SO true! Well done.

    The How-to Guru

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  53. I absolutely love this! Counting the little things is very important. It helps to remind to not take advantage of each other.

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  54. I love this advice, I just got married 1 month ago! This is very helpful =)

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  55. These are great lessons! I hope you can hang on to these as you continue in your marriage.

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Always love hearing from you all. Thanks for the love and support!